Don't Understand


You start off doing great
By yourself
You talk all this bull
For about a week
But deep inside you and I know that you will be back in the same situation again the next day
I love you to death
But you make it hard to love you
With all the changes
And how you start to treat us
You agree with everything he says even if you may know its not right
Yea, you may say something that refers to him being wrong
But in the end I will always have the most fault
I don't understand how you judged my sister
When she said she stood by her man
When you do the exact same thing
When you do find a way to understand
You don't trust your heart, but instead your mind
You say that I do the same thing as him
But you don't get it
Who do you think I learn it from?
Why would you bring it up ?
If you don't confront him about it
Why would you confront me?
I don't know if its because you are scared or what
I respect the fact that you can't go on with life without a "man"
Which you don't have now
But maybe if you picked the right one
And not a hobo off the street who so call "Means me well"
I wouldn't be having this problem right now
I don't understand how you could go back
Knowing the same thing is gonna happen
You put him out and bring him right back in
Its been about  4 years and you still haven't learned?
What has happened to you I don't know
I know one thing
You have changed into a whole different person
A whole different horror
Ronald
You used to be so understanding
So considerate but now everytime something happens
It is either the cause of me
Or its "thugish"
Why does it have to be thugish?
Why can't it just be me?
My own self
I don't understand
You say I'm a good child
But you surely don't make me feel like one
I try my best in school
I try my best to achieve
And be the best I can be
I don't enjoy school, but I do want a great future
With a special person unlike him
Who isn't triflyn, will hold me at times of need, and if I happen to have a second husband will treat my children with great respect and will love them as his own
Yes, you buy me clothes
You buy me all the materials things in the world and I appreciate that
You always tell me that
Its not that I'm not grateful
Don't get me wrong
God has blessed me very well
But material things aren't anything based on how much you used to understand me, how much you used to show your love, or how you stood up for me
Its very rare when you do that
You say you won't let him bother me to the point
But why not stop minor things to keep from building up hate?
I don't understand
You are a great person who deserves better
How do you end up with a jailbird, no job, unattractive, disrespecting, bad temper man of so called "God"?
You wonder why I sometimes catch an "attitude" when its time to go to church
Maybe if you were the same person you were 5 years ago you would've recognized that you shouldn't go to church if you are going to come back home and do the same foolish things again
No I haven't did anything to make me feel this way about myself
Its you all
You get tired of me talking about my friends and I do understand that friends don't last forever
Let me tell you something
I don't exactly care for hearing what my "faults" are and why he is always right
Or how he's just making me stronger
When I am here trying to do my best
Aren't I supposed to feel comfort at home?
I don't understand
Shouldn't the "man" be working?
Instead of the wife
Since they are the stronger ones
O but I forgot you don't have a man
You are a hard worker
In fact you work, clean, cook , and everything else in the house
What does he do?
What actions do you have to take to make him do it?
He's lacking potential, sentimental abilities, the manly might to hold his temper
I really don't know what he doesn't lack
You talk about how he used to be but you should see by now  that was the past and this is the present
Many changes have occured
Don't you see everytime God gives you the ability to see his true colors
You recognize it and act as if you don't
I don't understand
Yea I know if I ever let you read this you are going to give me the longest speech ever and continue to do the same thing
I don't understand how could you take up for him over me
You might as well count me out of your little family
Its not like I feel like I'm part of it
I get tired of all the hollering for unknown reasons
You wonder why I'm always depressed and you say I make myself depressed
But its not the reason
Its because of your stupidity and how I recognize it, but you don't
I smile and grin but deep inside I am crying
I keep on laughing to keep from crying
Not at home
I keep on dreaming to keep from dying
Everywhere I go
I keep on trying
Endlessly
Ain't gonna stop'
Never
Well I have said all I can say
I have poured my heart out once again and nothing has changed
Im done
Tired of writing
Tired of fighting
But just for now
Well I'm out 1
                                                                                Sincerely,
  The one who doesn't know

This poem was originally made by me so please don't steal it